Thursday, March 21, 2013

That's fair.


I am willing to do more
More than my share
That's fair.

Because I want to give
All that I have
That's how I live and that's
That's who I am

I have enough to offer
That I'll meet you
Much closer to you than halfway

I have enough to offer
I'll do what I can
To make it easy when it's hard for you

I am willing to do more
More than my share
That's fair.

The things that I want
I want despite
Anything at all if it
Makes me smile

But I run out of things to offer
And you are still
Much closer to you than halfway

I run out of things to offer
And I can no longer do
What is now hard for me is still hard for you

I am willing to do more
More than my share
That's fair.

I wonder how long
I'll be able to live
Before I'm not strong and I
Have no desire to give.

Hoarding what I have to offer
Witholding myself
Till you notice I'm missing from you

Hoarding what I have to offer
And hating myself
For what I've allowed to happen.

That's fair.

I don't know


I don't know how to behave right now.
I don't know if you need me or if I'm just here.
I don't know if youre getting a little tired
Of having me around.
I don't know, I don't know.

I don't know what to think right now.
I don't know if you love me but just need a break.
I don't know if you overwhelmed with
All of life and it's crazy, crazy spinning.
I don't know, I don't know.

I don't know why I feel the way I feel.
Like you don't know how much I'm worth.
I don't know why I'm imagining such horrible things
That you're taking me for granted.
Taking me for granted.

Are you taking me for granted?
I wish I was more important that other things.
Because you will always be more important than everything.

But I'm not more important than some things
And I don't know what to do with that.
I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know.

Are you worth my being less important?
I don't think so and that makes me very sad.
Because I'm going to lose you one day
Because I'm selfish and demanding
A spoiled brat that won't appreciate what she has.

That makes me cry.
I don't know why.
Teddy Bears aren't supposed to cry.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

So Far Away

So far away.
So many moments
Without you.
So far away.
So many miles
Between us.

Hold my heart in your hands
Whisper the dreams and the streams
That we chase to the beach
And dive deep into the ocean.

Tailor this outfit for me
Leaving the plans and the sand
For those concerned in the circle
As we visit the king.

So far away.
Sleeping to speed
The moments.
So far away.
Sighing to close
The distance.

It's patterns and rhythms
Drown my breath with it's depth
And I move without thought
Through the changing days

My heart in your hands
Taking charge of the barge
We reject and are swallowed
Back into the trees.

So far away.
So far away.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

So Easy


It's so easy to trust you.

And for something like trust
To someone like me
Finding somewhere I can
So easily

Without fear, without doubts
Without tests and questions
Without wondering
When you'll let me down

It is breathtaking; calming;
A gentle reprieve
And I know and I feel
All your love

And I feel how it moves me
And my love, and our love
And all its ways and reasons
For existing.

Which all trickle down
And remind me that I can
And so I do
And that is so amazing.

It's so easy to trust you.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Best


You welcomed me into your life because I was the type of person that you wanted to associate with, be associated with, and become.

You didn’t understand why I never despised your deficiencies to be accurately suitable in the eyes of those that did despise you.

You clung to my friendship and trusted me because you knew I would never turn my back on you, and I never did.

But you became what you set out to be, at least in appearance, and those that despised you once were so proud of your accomplishments.

And you welcomed their flattery and the feeling of success in a world you wanted so desperately to be a part of for so long.

I saw you change and I supported the changes you were making, but I wished that you had loved yourself the way I had seen you.

And you began to look down on me because I was no longer the type of person that you wanted to associate with, be associated with, or become.

You rose quickly in the ranks of etiquette and proper behavior as you learned the art of covering the flaws that make you human.

You clung to new friendships that were critical of you and put your energy into pleasing the people that would reject you if you didn’t.

And then you became critical of me and you judged me, and you wished that I would change with you, but I never did.

I didn’t realize any of this until the day I reminded you that I would never judge you for your choices just as I never had.

And you said angrily to me that I should have, perhaps feeling short-changed for my unwillingness to push you into a place we didn’t belong.

And now you justify your rejection of me as I express honestly where I am in the world and in my own mind.

And you say I’ve hurt you, because I have chosen to be honest about who I am and true to myself in everything that I do.

I guess it would hurt to have given up so much and turn to see that you didn’t ever have to give yourself up in the process.

But you did.

And now you despise me, just as you despised yourself so long ago.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Eager

The crisp air
surprises my toes,
exposed, in their
untimely footwear.

I'm eager to share
that air with you.

The clear night
sighs with my breath,
in depth, with bright
sparkling eyes.

I long to stare into
the sky with you.

The low croaks
in chorus with chirps,
comforts, like boats
my heart just floats.

I can't wait to listen
to the night with you.

The wet dirt
and metallic scent
relents, with the first
healing of hurts

I look forward to tasting
each breath with you.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

I wait.

I miss you.
So I close my eyes to remember your face
And I chase the taste of your lips.

I miss you.
So I stare into the air to concentrate
And I listen to the sound of your voice.

I miss you.
So I take a deep breath and fall deep asleep
And I dream of your fingers laced in mine.

I miss you.
So I welcome the night and the rest for my heart
And I listen for my phone to sing your song.

I miss you.
So I write you a poem and send you a note
And I wait for your world to be mine.