Be without Being

I walk through life skeptically. I trust, without trusting. I love without loving. I believe without believing. And I live without living...

~ I wonder if there will ever come a time that I can believe in anything again...

~ Perhaps the old adage, "ignorance is bliss" is correct. One might lie to oneself for years and be happy without ever knowing he or she is actually unhappy. Isn't that better than knowledge then?..

~ It's too late for me, however. The curse of having an open mind. To understand both sides, without being able to reject one over the other. I am painfully pinned to my own awareness.

So, today I will give without giving. And I will smile without smiling. I will doubt without doubting. And I will cry without crying...

And I wish without wishing that things could go back to how they used to be. But I know without knowing that they can't.

But I wait, without waiting, for someone to help.